Joy De Vries

Asperger Teen on an Mission to the Moon



Posted: Monday, February 11, 2008

by Joy De Vries
Asperger Advice

Recently my 12 year old son with Asperger Syndrome read an article in a scientific magazine which stated the American astronauts were going back to the moon in the year 2020. After reading the article carefully he came to me and told me he was going to be a part of that mission to return to the moon.

" Mom, I just know I am going to be there and join them on their mission to return to the moon. All I want to be is the first Asperger Astronaut to set foot on the moon" ! Why was I not surprised?

Looking back on his childhood he has been preparing for his mission since he was three years old. We lived in Houston Texas , home to NASA's mission control where his father worked. My son has not had the easy life as one would expect from a normal 3 year old toddler. It was a child who did not like to be touched, held or cuddled by any-one. He never once played with toys, telling me they were fake. It took several hours of rocking to get him to sleep and he seemed to be absorbed in his own little world, not willing to let anyone in or willing to reach out. A lonely little boy. Even though he was talking, his use of language was very strange and most of the time I felt he did not understand a word I was telling him. He was very focused on everything staying the same and reluctant to see any changes in his daily routines. He had no friends and his interest was limited to trains before we moved to Houston . All he ever wanted was to look at trains, talk about trains or watch movies with trains in it. He could tell all the different locomotives apart and knew every little detail there was to know about trains. I had been in and out of railways museums and train stations for the past 2 years. Desperately trying to get him interested in other things but unsuccessfully.

Without me knowing, he displayed all the symptoms children with Asperger Syndrome have.

Those symptoms and behaviors did not make sense to me at that time. I now know children with Asperger are loners, have no close friends and avoid interaction with their peers. They can have a lack of imagination meaning they are unable to pretend or join in imaginative play. They might collect toy cars and will line them up but are not interested in playing with them. The impairment in communication of children with Asperger Syndrome makes them take everything literally and miss out on any nonverbal signs or double meanings in language. Their need for structure and inability to think in a flexible way makes them prefer the same routines every day. They are upset when things change unexpectedly. Their rigid mindset needs repetitive behavior and rituals to stay calm and cope with anyunexpected changes.

The all-absorbing narrow interest is called preoccupation. Once we moved to Houston , my son's preoccupation with trains turned into a preoccupation with spacecraft. We watched : "The right stuff" Apollo 13" and "Space Odyssey" over and over again. I took him to the Houston Space centre at least twice a week where we would watch the movies, photographs and lay down in the Apollo capsule. He explained to me the difference between the rockets which I, off course, could not tell apart. "Look mommy, one astronaut in the Mercury, two in the Gemini and three astronauts in the Apollo"!

He could memorize all the names of all the astronauts ever flown to the moon and could even name the ones that did not decent but in his words: "stayed in the capsule and circled the moon while the others were collecting rocks". After we did everything the Space centre could possibly offer, we picked up a souvenir from the store and went outside to look at the Apollo rocket laying there close to the entrance of the Space Centre.

His father took him on a tour behind the scene of NASA and he watched some rookie astronauts practice their moves in the huge pool. He climbed into the Space Shuttle Cockpit the real astronauts practiced in and could watch Mission Control Centre from behind the glass.

When dad returned from work we did the same repetitive routine ever day. We would lay up side down on the couch with our backs on the seat and our legs up against the backrest of the couch, like the astronauts in the Apollo capsule did. Our little professor would go through the checklist and afterwards do the countdown and lift off procedures. We always had to have a helium balloon tied to one arm of the couch because without those "parachutes" being there to break the fall, we would crash. I was responsible for the deployment of the parachute, at the exact right time off course which meant I had to untie the helium balloon and let it go up into the air as if it really were the parachute that would land the capsule safe into the ocean. On a fixed time he was okay with me going into the kitchen to cook. The Apollo capsule changed into the Gemini. I was happy to escape the repetitive routine for a while. If I did not watch the clock and got up before the time he felt was best he would get angry and upset with the change in routine. It would take us at least an hour to calm him again. I was more then willing to prevent anything like that happening.

If I look at my son now I can not believe the difference in behavior. He still has Asperger Syndrome since it is a life long condition that can not be cured. But he is handling it so well. The diagnosis came when he was 7 and has been a great help. Now at least we knew what we were dealing with and I was educating myself and him on all the ins and outs of Asperger Syndrome. I explained to him what this condition was and told him all about his challenges in life and his strong points.

I mentioned how happy I was to have him as a son and how proud he made me.

I told him all about the advantages children with Asperger have:

His rote memory is excellent and his IQ is sky-high. He has an superb eye for detail and can talk without manipulating someone. His thinking is original and his problem solving skills can be too. He is not in for impressing other people or bothered about what they may think of him. He is honest and open and always says what he means. His inability to lie or have a hidden agenda is his most charming quality. His sense of humor is wonderful and we laugh about the Asperger characteristics he has or the differences in communication between us. Once I explained how "normal" grown ups can say something but mean the opposite. I told him how we call this use of language "figure of speech". He just shook his head and told me: "I am better off having Asperger, at least I always say what I mean"!

Once you have learned to look beyond the symptoms and are able to understand how different their mind works, these kids are just great to be around with. Their logic is unlike anything I have ever seen. Their determination is unreal.

Children with Asperger Syndrome, like all children, need loving and supportive parents who are able and willing to accept them for who they are and encourage them in a positive way. this is why I will support my son in his vision to go to the moon because I know those with Asperger Syndrome are capable of amazing things.

Bio:

Joy de Vries is a mother of two sons with Asperger Syndrome and apart from being a registered nurse and teacher she has a university degree in social science. Her mission in life is to educate people arround the world on Asperger Syndrome and contributed to autism awareness by building her own site: http://www.Asperger-Advice.com

Joy de Vries has two sons age 13 and 9 diagnosed with Asperger, a form of autism. Together with Asperger's both boys also have ADHD and the youngest one has a touch of Tourette Syndrome.  Life in their home can be a little hectic from time to time.... Her mission is to educate people arround the world on the ins and outs of Asperger and other forms of autism by emphasizing the positive side of things! check out her Asperger website: www.Asperger-Advice.com  
 
Apart from being a mother of two she has a bachelor degree in nursing and  teaching aswell as a masters degree in educational science. She is currently working part-time at a Dutch university as an educationlist, designing trainings and E-learnings for doctors and nurses. 
 
 
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